save.face

What The Fuck Am I Doing Writing A Note?

Well...Here It Goes: (keeping it short)

John Legend is either a genius or a little man living inside my head writing out my thoughts and making them sound better than any tune I'd attempt to make...

I was sitting back listening to a cd I made from my iTunes of all his best hits and each of the songs would describe some shit I've been thinking about.

A few minutes I was sitting back listening to 'doing it again' and i wanted to send an email or IM or pick up the phone and just say "fuck all the shit in the way...the 3000 miles...the he say she say...the stupid shit and let's do it again."

...but i think all you would have said was "get some rest. i'm sorry." and that would drive me fucking crazy...

so i write this note and hope that you know it's to you and you say something that'll make shit alright.

but knowing you, you'll go on and say something like "...today was a great day. i ate lunch for the first time at..." and this will go over your head.

so...
this is the end of this note.


*if you were tagged to this note, it simply means you are just as crazy as i am...or you were on my mind*

*ordinary people just came on...damn*

i.slept.with.chinua

i sleep next to a window - slightly above berber
listening to chinua achebe snore in my ear
staring at the moon wishing to teach the world of yemaja
make public her many pregnancies but no hospital visits 
there will be no more levees to break
or waters to drink
i've lost my imagination in one of the cold months
and i'm losing myself next to this window
and chinua achebe only seems to get louder and louder

-me

after.we.fucked

she hadn't quite learned everything.

after we fucked - then showered - then faked a few kisses she handed me my shirt and asked if i'd ever return.
i sat back down and we watched frasier.
she was used to niggas who'd flush and go - then become infrequent messages in her inbox and a dick picture in her picture mail.

so when i needed to talk - i'd call
and each picture she had of me had been admired by her mother
"he's handsome" she said

so we stopped fucking for a while so she could learn.
i told her love was a misunderstanding between two fools.
and as long as i didn't give her a reason to love me - she shouldn't.

we became fools who strolled by monuments
and planted sunflower seeds at the bottom of rabbit holes

and i told her:
i do not love you because of who you are -now- to me
or what i believe you may become.

i love you because when i call you - you answer.

i worried a little

well how does one begin to explain what you may consider a 'fuck up'?

like this:
the tip of my tongue was stabbing her clit as though it has broken into my mouth to steal my tonsils. 
i mean, this shit was violent. her body jerking with every tongue thrust, head adjustment, and tickle my middle finger.
i prefer the middle finge because it's the longest.

just five minutes prior to this act of...um...romance, my head was on her shoulder while she explained her reasons for thinking darrius and nina should have never gotten back together. 
i didn't give a shit about neither of them.
after a few sighs, laughs and squeezes of the titties, i unbuttoned her skinny jeans with my lips and teeth.
i created a heated sensation on the already moist panties. right where the pussy was waiting for me.

in a blur of motion, the panties lay on my floor next to my new air force ones with the argyle shoosh. custom made.
i made eye connection with the pink abyss and went in for the kill.

i digress.

while my head was on her shoulder she asked 'what do you get out of eating my pussy?'

without a breath, hesitation or even a blink i answered 'the hardest dick you've ever seen.'

'oh.'

back to me stabbing:

i was right. my dick was throbbing.
the under-vein made it kinda resemble my arm, minus the elbow.
if i were her, and seen my dick, i'd go crazy.

side note: i'm probably the only man who loves his dick like this. i can go on for hours describing the beauty of it.

my teeth bit down softly on the growing clitoris and my lips had fully taken in hers.
she was gone.
somewhere between me attempting to swallow her uterus and her delivering a sermon on her back with her face in the pillow, she had released the sweetest lip-licking nectar.

and immediately after that my dick went numb, but still erect as though it were preparing to break through iron.

'i...want...you...in me now!'

white lights, shoulder shaking and toe curling is what followed.

my down stroke was to a non existent beat.

her spot and my spot somehow became the same spot, as we both yelled 'right there' at the same time.
i was afraid to move from 'right there,' so i didn't.

cross-eyed and stuck-faced, we both yelled for whatever god appeared in the room at that moment.
and she cried, her nails in my back making me want to say 'i love you forever,' but settling for 'i'm done.'

i managed to snap a photo while she bent over to put on her panties.

looking at myself in the bathroom mirror i remembered the condom i had brought through. ribbed for her pleasure. and mine.

it's cool. this was going to happen eventually.
i searched her medicine cabinet for birth control bottles, pills, pill residue.

nothing.

so last night i worried a little afterwards.