the.middle.urinal

i was standing in the bathroom shaking jimbrowski after a much needed release of fluids and a note came to my head.

i'm hoping the message hits you like it hit me...
if not...forgive me. it's 3:06am and i just got off the china town bus in DC.

there were three urinals in this particular bathroom.
not nearly enough for the type of place this was (train station).

i would think that given the amount of men that probably pass through these halls every day, they would build more urinals to accomodate, but no.

so i'm standing there, bag of cheese danishes in my mouth, clenched tight, cell phone placed securely in my pocket so it won't fall out and into the drops of piss on the floor left by the man before me that didn't wash his hand, and good ol' faithful jimbrowski in my hand making the business happen.

i was in the bathroom alone.

the little guy walks in, clears his throat, took a second to observe that no one but me was there and made his move for the middle urinal.

i finished peeing, shook, zipped up, washed my hands, towel dried them and departed.

my question: what the fuck was wrong with that last urinal?

this isn't the first time. 
it happens all the time.

and the homosexual thoughts many of you are having aside, this is a common issue.

there's a theory out there that makes a lot of sense to me regarding black men.

it goes a little something like this:
black men, having been psychologically fucked up by the transatlantic slave trade/middle passage due to the cramped (for lack of better) spaces and extremely close proximity to one another, no longer want to be that close again to another individual, therefore we leave that seat between us on busses and in theaters...and the stall.

so...

again...

why the fuck didn't that man use the end stall?

given the theory, one could argue that the man being white had no idea about the whole middle passage conditioning.

but oh well...

it's 3:18 now...

one more thing: 
i was asked by a co-worker a long time ago why i didn't shake the hands of white men.

it's not 'cause i'm racist or prejudice, but i've NEVER seen a white man wash his hands before leaving a public restroom.

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-me