she.wont.know

She Won’t Know

Had it not been for the shoes he’d have stuck around
So I no longer leave mine outside her door
She lets me scuff the floor every so often
As long as she can trace my tracks
This is the way she loved
Through distrust and the occasional emotional outburst
She’s the daughter of a woman just like her
This woman convinced her my secrets were a problem
And my whereabouts were important
I carried her vulnerability around in my shirt pocket
And tucked her low self esteem into designer jeans
And this was how I preyed
Not in prostrations and Arabic but on these women
Hoping they’d never break water
But we gave birth to 13 sons in hopes they’d give birth to daughters
And when I came I promised to never leave
Yes a woman can raise a man
But she shouldn't have to
The sun sleeps nights and mother plays the moon tracking my moves and had me in check
While the sun slept we conceived
And because her belly was high it was a girl we believed
So I’m in this for life still
I’d teach her to recognize bullshit
And whether they wore sandals boots or sneakers
She’d learn that at the kitchen table sitting in front of me
Instead of at school when the kids ask why her father wasn’t around
Because it’s a fact that women of the fatherless tribe love differently
And that…
She will never know

-me